Title: Father of All...
Artist: Green Day
Label: Reprise Records
Genre: "100% pure uncut rock"
Released: 07 February 2020
father of all...
"Huh-uh, come on, honey
Lyin' in a bed of blood and money
Huh-uh, what's so funny?
We are rivals in the riot inside us"
At its most tolerable moments, Green Day’s latest album “Father of All…” is just mindless background music. However at its worst, it somehow manages to be one of the most cringeworthy and generic albums I’ve heard in years. All the songs pretty much fit into one of these two categories; either tolerable, or genuinely offensive to your ears. On the whole though, this album is just really fucking terrible. “Father of all…” is only 26 minutes long, with each song sitting at around 3 minutes each. This works in its favour, since if this was stretched out any longer it would absolutely be a lot worse than it turned out to be. However even for its brief runtime it still somehow manages to be an excruciatingly difficult listen, mainly due to how consistently poor both the lyrics and music are.
There really isn’t a whole lot to say about this album simply due to the fact that it’s so short and has such little time to express itself. And thank god it didn’t give itself more time. “Father of All…” doesn’t seem to focus on any specific idea or theme, but instead decides to just vaguely give off a bit of a “Fuck you, we don’t give a fuck” vibe. And this might have worked for the band and their audience two decades ago. But now as Billie Joe Armstrong is pushing 50, it becomes a whole lot more forced and is frankly embarrassing to listen to.
Exhibit A of this is the album’s lyrics. Everything here feels so pointlessly thrown together. And while this can occasionally lead to a few moments of mindless fun, or even ironic enjoyment, it’s mostly just drivel. A few songs such as ‘Take the Money and Crawl’ can be vaguely enjoyable on surface level, however as soon as you listen to the lyrics they often fall apart. And other times the songs are so explicitly awful that it’s literally impossible to ignore, such the track 'I Was a Teenage Teenager':
"I was a teenage teenager (I was a teenage teenager)
Full of piss and vinegar
Living like a prisoner for haters (I was a teenager)
I was a teenage teenager (Teenager), I am an alien visitor
My life's a mess and school is just for suckers”
I can’t even really pinpoint a single moment in particular that sounds bad on the album. And that’s mostly because everything here is so endlessly generic, overproduced and boring to the point that it all blurs into a single giant mess. I think if someone put this on in the background of a party I probably wouldn’t care enough to forcefully ask them to turn it off. And that is the highest compliment I can really give this album. But the more I think about it, the more I seriously hope to god I never find myself in that situation.
The only song that stands out at all from this is ‘Stab You in the Heart’, which breaks into a classic rock and roll homage for its chorus. It’s not particularly good by any merit, but at least it made me raise my eyebrows for at least a second. The rest of the album is just so blatantly awful and headache-inducing that I’m genuinely worried that having to give it multiple listens for this review has given me some kind of long-lasting brain damage.
The more I think about “Father of all…” the more my distaste for it grows. Although it has a few almost ironically enjoyable moments on a superficial level, for the most part it’s just an absolute fucking travesty. This is not a particularly long review simply because it hardly gives me anything to discuss in its 26 minute run-time, but despite this I also genuinely think this album is a huge waste of time. And I really don’t want to give it the courtesy of ranting any longer than I have to about it. I wouldn’t recommend you listen to this at all. It’s pretty bad. If you’re a die-hard Green Day fan you might find some enjoyment in it, but personally I felt absolutely nothing for this.
“I've got a fever, a non-believer, and it's killing me
Like a high school loser that will never, ever, ever, ever fuck the prom queen”
Reviewed by Layton Bryce